


To Whom It May Concern

by dendrite_blues



Series: Reparations and Related Works [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Adoption, Asgardians Settling on Earth, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Companionable Snark, Developing Friendship, Enemies to Friends, Epistolary, Gen, Nick Fury is a Good Bro, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 07:37:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15092153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dendrite_blues/pseuds/dendrite_blues
Summary: A duel of letters between one Loki Liesmith and one Nick Fury on the citizenship of three extra-terrestrial children.My Dearest Nicholas,Words cannot express my gratitude for the video clips you sent.  I am especially partial to the one in which the Hulk crashes my speeder and playback is slowed for the audience to more adequately appreciate my screams of anguish.  The notion that you took time out of your busy schedule to curate these lovely mementos sends my heart aflutter.





	To Whom It May Concern

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a repost, I accidentally deleted the original, which I'm so so sad about. I will miss all of your lovely comments!
> 
> Anyway, this fic is a sort of companion piece to the popular "Loki finishes his sentence on Asgard and then hangs out in Tony's house" story, and more specifically the variant in which Tony helps reunite Loki with his kids. These stories usually hand wave the legal stuff and have Pepper take care of it, but I thought it would be fun to see Loki try to figure things out himself. This story takes place in the window of time between Winter Soldier and Age of Ultron, and is written as though Loki is an ally of the Avengers. It also assumes that Nick Fury continues to work for the World Security Council after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D.
> 
> Please enjoy!

June 6, 2014

ATTN: The Resident Whose Name is Not Stark  
200 Park Ave, North Stark Tower, Suite 5900  
New York, NY, USA

To Whom It May Concern,

My congratulations to you and your brother on your approved Norwegian citizenship. It is an honor and privilege for humankind to be reunited with such esteemed allies. I appreciated your correspondence throughout your naturalization process and hope we can continue peaceful relations in the future.

Having said that, an email address has been issued for your use (L.Liesmith@wsc.gov) so that we can dispense with paper communications. The parchment does not fit in any standard filing cabinet and HR is crawling up my ass about your use of animal messengers.

They insisted that I refer you to the international guidelines for the ethical treatment of animals, which I printed and attached for your convenience. Of course, this should not be a concern now that you have digital means of communication. I trust your new BFF can explain how to use it. Failing that, I’m certain you are aware of YouTube if only because I know much you love to hear yourself talk.

Below I have listed some highlights which I particularly enjoy. Consider it my gift to you, commemorating your successful asylum on our planet.

Best Regards,

Nick Fury  
Director of Defense Operations  
World Security Council

-  
June 14, 2014

ATTN: Nicholas Joseph Fury  
World Security Council HQ  
Wherever That Is

My Dearest Nicholas,

Words cannot express my gratitude for the video clips you sent. I am especially partial to the one in which the Hulk crashes my speeder and playback is slowed for the audience to more adequately appreciate my screams of anguish. The notion that you took time out of your busy schedule to curate these lovely mementos sends my heart aflutter.

Your colleagues’ concern for the welfare of animals has been noted and thus I am amending my delivery practices. Although all of my messengers are conjurations, and therefore not truly alive or possessing of a soul, I have sent this missive using a clever invention of Mister Stark’s. He is most ingenious with his machines, and I find myself rather fond of its gamma ray retinal scanner. It somewhat resembles a dragon’s eye, does it not?

He assured me it is harmless, mostly, and that you will not have trouble reading this missive after the scanner confirms your identity. Do tell me if this method pleases you. I want only for your approval.

On a more serious note, I’m afraid I must convey news which will displease you. I apologize that it must come from me, as I am sincere in my affections and my will for the council to be ever so content with my conduct. However, after our recent phone conference, I feel I must be unflinchingly direct.

I will not under any circumstances consent to the council’s demand that my children be examined by anyone but myself or Mister Stark. They will not be added to any registry of dangerous persons, and they will not be held by any accords intended for the control of powerful individuals.

They are children, and deserving of every freedom your realm grants to its own young. The council’s requirements for their citizenship are unequal to the terms which were offered me and Thor, and I will agree to nothing more or less than an identical contract.

Furthermore, I confess I am deeply offended by the manner of address you used when last we spoke. Although you undoubtedly intended humor in your naming of me as “the recently identified unidentified flying object” given the circumstances I find it necessary to remind you of my proper station. In order for us to continue peaceful correspondence, I must insist that you use the following title in all further missives, as a gesture of respect.

Forever Yours,  
His Esteemed Highness, Son of Odin, Son of Laufey, Prince of Asgard, Diplomatic Representative of the Allied Realms of Yggdrasil, Senior Occult Consultant to Stark Industries, Mother of Monsters, Keeper of Iduun's Stolen Apple, Proprietor of the Tesseract, God of Tricksters, Lies, Fire, and Fatherhood, Loki Liesmith

-  
June 22, 2012, 10:45am  
To:silvertonguesexgod@starkindustries.com  
From:nfury@wsc.gov  
Subject: Contract Agreement

To his Esteemed Highness, Son of Odin, Son of Laufey, Prince of Asgard, Diplomatic Representative of the Allied Realms of Yggdrasil, Senior Occult Consultant to Stark Industries, Mother of Monsters, Keeper of Idun's Stolen Apple, Proprietor of the Tesseract, God of Tricksters, Lies, Fire, and Fatherhood, Loki Liesmith

I refuse to respond to further paper communications. Consider any non-digital communication a donation to the nearest landfill. And please relay to Stark that I expect the blueprints to that delivery device on my desk no later than Monday, unless Stark Tower would like another security breach.

You’re right that I’m not happy about your answer, but I’m also not surprised. I’d like to call your attention to the attached file, Nonviolent Alien Amnesty Agreement LokiLiesmith.pdf, which you signed before the council and eight witnesses on March, 4 2014. You will notice Article 33, Consent to Peacekeeping Measures, more specifically paragraph seven which covers the Council’s right to examine and keep records of potential threats related to your person, species, learned skills, and family relations.

The citizenship applications for Fenrir, Jormungand, and Hela Liesmith list you as their father, which I think we can agree makes them family relations subject to the contract.

Am I meant to understand that you unintentionally provided false information on those forms? I sincerely hope that you do not intend to breach your contract with the council, as we both know that would be considered an act of war.

Understand that I mean no disrespect to you or any foreign powers you represent. I would never accuse you of dishonesty or risk damaging the oh so tender esteem you have for me. I’m just curious about the discrepancy in our paperwork. Please clarify your relation to the applicants at your earliest convenience so that we can proceed.

With great respect and care for your delicate affections,  
Nick Fury

-  
June 25, 2014, 4:22 pm  
To: nfury@wsc.gov  
From: silvertonguesexgod@starkindustries.com  
Subject: RE: Contract Agreement

My darling Nicholas,

I cannot help but laugh at the absurdity of your question! I would never dream of violating the agreements I have signed, and I certainly do not wish to start any unnecessary wars. Indeed the children are my direct descendents, and applicable to the amnesty agreement.

Upon closer inspection I do not see any stipulations on the nature of the “examinations” or who should be responsible for the keeping of records. I could be mistaken, but I expect the council will designate an agent to conduct the reports on their behalf. None of them seem the “hands-on” type as Mister Stark would say. Bear with me, then, while I make some speculative arguments about how these investigations should be carried out.

First, I would like to argue that the amnesty of my children is a politically divisive matter about which nearly all humanity holds passionate opinions. We can scarcely leave Stark Tower without being overwhelmed by parties both for and against our presence in this realm, and our living quarters have been subject to multiple security breaches from violent intruders. I have attached videos taken from Stark surveillance to verify these claims. You will surely find them most enlightening.

Second, I hope you will acknowledge that the governments of your world have previously failed to safely examine extra-human individuals residing on your planet. Please see the American Department of Defense file on Doctor Bruce Banner, and supplementary reports signed by the Former Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. (Funny how times change, isn’t it darling?)

See also, the casefile of Captain Steven Rogers, formerly an agent of the American Army and S.H.I.E.L.D. He is now considered a fugitive if I am not mistaken, as well as his associate James Barnes. Both I’m sure would have made useful assets with proper handling. I could go to many more examples, but I feel my argument is adequately proven.

Given these facts, I insist that my children’s examination be handled by a third party committee comprised only of qualified and provably unbiased experts, and whose governance is not subject to any political body. I suggest that we call this organization the Alien Nonbiased Universal Scrutiny Board to signify its commitment to fair and universal oversight.

Admittedly it is a mouthful, but Mister Stark and I quite enjoy shortening it to “the A.N.U.S. Committee” or “ANU-ScruB” and find it much easier on the tongue. You need not concern yourself with the details, as I have taken the liberty of creating a first draft and attached it for your review. Thank you, as always, for your gentle care of me and mine.

Happily anticipating your response,  
Loki

-  
June 26, 2014 8:15 am  
To: silvertonguesexgod@starkindustries.com  
From: nickfurious@hotmail.com  
Subject: off the record

To his Esteemed Highness, Son of Odin, Son of Laufey, Prince of Asgard, Diplomatic Representative of the Allied Realms of Yggdrasil, Senior Occult Consultant to Stark Industries, Mother of Monsters, Keeper of Idun's Stolen Apple, Proprietor of the Tesseract, God of Tricksters, Lies, Fire, and Fatherhood, Loki Liesmith,

go fuck yourself

-Fury

-  
June 27, 2014 11:43 pm  
To: silvertonguesexgod@starkindustries.com  
From: nfury@wsc.gov  
Subject: RE:RE:RE:RE:RE:RE: Contract Agreement

To his Esteemed Highness, Ect. Ect. Et al,

The World Security Council reviewed your proposal this morning with some minor adjustments in nomenclature made my associate Maria Hill. I’m happy to tell you that the council has approved the creation of the Unbiased Authority for the Examination of Extra-Human Persons (UAEEHP).

The committee in question will be responsible for the creation of a universal standard of examination, a system for records management, and a set of ethical guidelines which will govern the proceedings. The council has also named you and Stark as the core members of the authority, and require that you name at least one third party who will protect the interests of the council.

I do not want to know how you accomplished this, but I will ask that you at least give me the names of the council members you found so persuadable. It is a matter of global security and I believe I am owed the favor for putting up with you all these months.

On the bright side, I’ve been told that as core members of the authority you and Stark will be responsible for writing the required documents personally. Given you and Stark’s mutual love of paperwork, I’m sure this is an exciting prospect. Think of it as one of your infamous date nights, only this one can be enjoyed without spending the net worth of a small country, and also will not result in any tabloid frenzies or social media site crashes.

You’ll forgive me if I see this as a marked improvement. Documents must be submitted by August 1, and the examination of your offspring no later than August 15.

Delighted as ever to talk with you,  
Nick Fury  
Director of Defense Operations  
World Security Council

-  
August 16, 2014 3:34am  
To: nickfurious@hotmail.com  
From: silvertonguesexgod@starkindustries.com  
Subject: RE: off the record

My apologies for the delay in my response. I was needed off-world quell a small rebellion of the dark elves. Do not worry, it has all been sorted.  
With regards to your instructions for my private activities:

You know I aim at all times to please you Nicholas, but I’m afraid I cannot comply with your request. Tho I am not blind to my own enticing visage, I sadly lack appendages capable of penetrating myself. However, if it is to your liking, I will do some shapeshifting experiments and forward you the results. Octopi seem a viable option, as well as a certain species of slug found only in the oceans of Alfheim. Do these images appeal to you?

Please let me know so that I may proceed.

Loki

-  
September 18, 2014 9:55 am  
To: nfury@wsc.gov  
From: silvertonguesexgod@starkindustries.com  
Subject: Notice of Bankrupcy, UAEEHP

Nicholas,

I am sad to report to you that Anthony and I are unable to fulfill our responsibilities to the charmingly named UAEEHP. It is through no personal failing or lack of effort that we come to this announcement, but a horrendous and unforeseeable financial misunderstanding.

You see, our operations require a great deal of equipment and resources in order to conduct the examinations required by the council. I’m sure the council has not considered this, as the subject did not come up in our negotiations, but I assure you the sum is substantial. The council was under the presumption, I think, that Anthony would absorb the liabilities incurred in the pursuit of the children’s legal identities, due to his intention to adopt them once he is able. I can assure you that this is not the case.

This entire tedious affair is only necessary because the council deems it so, and thus I find their ignorance to the financial needs their loyal subjects extremely dishonorable. Although Anthony does not wish for me to share this information, I feel they should be reminded that the majority of Anthony’s wealth is contained within a corporation controlled by public stockholders.

Whatever his public image may indicate, his fortunes are not unlimited and he cannot simply withdraw money which rightfully belongs to others. It should be clear given these facts that we cannot uphold our agreement without a substantial inundation of cash from the council coffers.

If they wish to proceed, please send via electronic transfer $30,000,000 USD by October 1, 2014 to the personal account of Anthony Edward Stark.

Justification for this sum is outlined in the attached Itemized Budget for Operation of UAEEHP.

We look forward to your response.  
Sincerely,

Loki

-  
October 21, 2014, 2:45 pm  
To:silvertonguesexgod@starkindustries.com  
From: nfury@wsc.gov  
Subject: RE: Transfer of Funds UAEEHP

To his Esteemed Highness, Ect. Ect. Et al,

Thank you for confirming receipt of funds totaling $30,000,000 USD on this previous Saturday, September 20, 2014. My sympathies to the villains you two face in your regular duties as Avengers. I do not understand how there are any of them left.

Unfortunately the council is not as weary of your particular brand of insanity as me, and so you will find an inquiry regarding your appointment of Dr. Banner as your council representative attached.

It basically disputes your claim that no other expert can speak with authority about Loki’s offspring, citing other experts in non-human biology such as Dr. Hank McCoy and Dr. Reed Richards.

However you two manage to fuck this up, and I’m sure you will, it would mean a lot if you could keep me out of it. I have a million other problems more important than this shit show and I honestly don’t give a fuck about your sordid cross-species love affair.

Always and forever your reluctant human telephone,

Nick Fury  
Director of Defense Operations  
World Security Council

-  
November 4, 2014 8:05 am  
To: nfury@wsc.gov  
From: silvertonguesexgod@starkindustries.com  
Subject: Tragically Delayed Once More

Dear Director,

I fear I am losing your interest, friend, which I must admit saddens me a great deal. As you are aware, this year has been a most trying time for my family, what with the untimely passing of my mother and the broadening rift between the Avengers. I am not sure I could have remained patient with these proceedings for so long if not for your wit. Therefore, please do not take it in jest when i say that I am disquieted by the tone of your last message. Are you quite alright?

Now, to business. I am pleased to report that the council has come to share our high opinion of Doctor Banner and agreed to his appointment. Per your request, I will not regale you of the details, but rest assured it was most ingenious. With that matter put to rest, we can at last complete these invasive and unnecessary tests with haste.

Only, I regret to inform you, it may yet take some time to draft an operational agreement to which all three of us committee members can concur. There are serious disagreements between Doctor Banner and Mister Stark about the testing methods to be used. I estimate that our legal team can have the work done in no less than two months, which is really quite a feat.

Naturally there will then be a process of negotiation, rebuttal, and counter offering, but surely that will take no longer than a few additional months. We estimate the commencement of work to be around January 8, 2015.

Given that timeline, are you certain the council still wishes to proceed? It really would be much more expedient to copy the agreements offered to Thor and I. The effectiveness of those documents has been well demonstrated in my ongoing consultancy with the Avengers, and by Thor’s spotless record of good conduct. Do let me know if they wish to renegotiate.

Tirelessly yours,

Loki

-  
November 5, 2014 11:10 am  
To: silvertonguesexgod@starkindustries.com  
From: nfury@wsc.gov  
Subject: RE: Tragically Delayed Once More

Loki,

I don’t know why I’m bothering to ask, but can’t you just give the council what they want? We could have finished this months ago and you would be flying your brood to daycare in your Iron Minivan right now.

I know you and Stark aren’t big on compromise, but will you consider it?

Best,  
Nick

-  
December 19, 2014 4:43 am  
To: nfury@wsc.gov  
From: silvertonguesexgod@starkindustries.com  
Subject: Banner is Lost

Dear Director,

I assume you were informed about the unfortunate events following the Avengers’ battle with Ultron. I do not hold Anthony responsible for the actions of his creation any more than I would hold Odin responsible for my actions four years ago. I admit that he demonstrated poor judgement in connecting his AI to the hostile mechanism, but he could not have foreseen the repercussions of his mistake.

The potential for poor decisions is the unfortunate bedfellow of emancipation. Although I am sure the actions of Ultron reflect very badly on my continued efforts to win citizenship for my children, I must ask again.

As I’m sure you recall from our operating agreement, we require unanimous approval from all committee members in order to begin examinations. We also require unanimous approval to appoint or remove committee members. Without the presence of Doctor Banner, we cannot conduct any further work and at the same time cannot appoint a replacement for him.

Banner’s flight was unplanned and untraceable, and even I have been unable to locate him. He is likely already outside of our solar system, and possibly even beyond the furthest branches of Yggdrasil. We mourn the loss of our dear friend, and yet we cannot help but feel a small flare of optimism. Given the impossible situation, we hope the council will finally see reason and release us from the binding of this tiresome contract.

Today marks eight months that my children have peacefully resided on Midgard, a record completely without incident despite numerous home invasions and the constant harassment of the press. The children remain as innocent as babes, and limitless in their curiosity of their new home.

Although they do grow much slower than your human youths, please bear in mind that they experience the same duration of each hour and each day. They grow more aware of their cold reception, and I have run low on excuses as to why they cannot go to school as the children on television do, or why they are not allowed to run about Central Park although it is mere steps from Stark Tower.

Youth is fleeting no matter the parentage, and I assure you that the window in which we can endear these young souls to your realm is closing with haste. It is not my intention to threaten, and yet what else can my words be? Your council’s stubbornness is cultivating an insidious jealousy of humanity in my children which I am powerless to stop. I beg you to make a most persuasive argument for the unexamined naturalization of my children.

I can offer you no collateral, no bargain, or reimbursement. All I have is a father’s plea. Mobs fill the streets demanding blood, and soon papers will be written in prejudice against anyone with a strand of non-human matter in their veins. You know that I have no other haven in all the nine realms, my family is entirely at your disposal. I have nothing more to say. I hope it is enough.

Loki

-  
January 9, 2015  
ATTN: Loki Liesmith and Family  
200 Park Ave, North Stark Tower, Suite 5900  
New York, NY, USA

Loki,

Please see the enclosed birth certificates, New York IDs, social security cards, and naturalization paperwork for the individuals named Fenrir Liesmith, Jormungand Liesmith, and Hela Liesmith. Please sign the marked pages immediately and have the messenger return them to my private residence.

Do not contact me through traceable means, and do not ever divulge the source of your documentation. Do not thank me.

Best regards to you and your family.

Nick

-  
January 11, 2015  
ATTN: My Cyclopean Acquaintance  
At his private residence  
Wherever that may be

To Whom It May Concern,

I am ashamed to admit that your actions leave me without words. Per your request I shall refrain from adulations, but I cannot take this act of generosity without repaying the favor in kind.

Please see the attached vial of questionable origin, and take it at my word that it contains a very rare and precious nectar. If the fruit’s effects on Anthony are anything to go by, then this dose will be more than sufficient to restore your sight. Sadly, no such remedy exists for your dour looks and regrettable personality.

I am a god, not a miracle worker.

With my warmest regards,

Loki Liesmith  
Husband, Father, Citizen of Earth

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoy a fic, any fic, please consider leaving a comment. It really does help.


End file.
